So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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