If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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