Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
