I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
