I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
