Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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