you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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