if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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