omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
no. you can't hotbox the world.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
