it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize