i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
