You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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