She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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