Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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