Will you blow on my dice?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
