literally had 100 drinks last night.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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