Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
