Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
