i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
