One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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