Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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