i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
