I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
