If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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