All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize