was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
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And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
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there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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