i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
