It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
