I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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