i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize