I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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