Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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