Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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