i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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