i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
