apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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