why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
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