Someone shit on the floor
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
