Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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