It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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