Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
