You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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