Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
