All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
