I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
