so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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