In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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