is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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