Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My vagina is very pro this idea
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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