no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize