You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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