He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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