so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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