I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
