In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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