just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
