i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
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I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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