My liver just broke up with me...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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