just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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